Letting go of something is probably one of the hardest and longest running thought decision process and emotional struggle a person has to go through especially if it’s special or dear to the person. The thing we hold so dear could vary from one person to another ranging from profession (jobs, work), personal (girlfriend, boyfriend, friend, family), assets (blog, car, watch), etc .
Why do we have to let go? There comes a point in our life when we feel we need to let go of something which doesn’t feel good anymore, like a romantic relationship for instance. Another reason why we need to let go is when someone moves on to a different path or probably taken from us by force like the 9/11 tragedy. Often we find ourselves hanging on too long than we should because of a great deal of emotional attachment that doesn’t allow us to progress forward.
How do we let go?
1. Matter of Choice – Letting go, moving on and becoming happy is a matter of choice. It begins when you decide its time to be happy.
2. Detachment – After you have decided its time to let go you have to detach yourself from what you’re holding on so dearly. Attachment is one of the key components why a person could not let go of something. Temporarily or permanently detaching yourself from the situation gives you the power to think and feel clearly. As the saying goes — Emotions divide sensibility. Take a breather and divert your attention to something else and give yourself space for detachment.
3. Acceptance – Accept that there are things you can do and things you cannot do. As my best friend’s father taught me — Deal with the cards at hand for which you have control of, rather than the cards of others for which you have no control of. Things happen for a reason no matter how unreasonable they seem.
4. Lessons – Again, as my best friend’s father taught me — there are no mistakes in life only lessons to be learned. Holding on to someone doesn’t correct mistakes we have done and we have to realize they are lessons to be learned.
5. Important things – Alan from State of the Game made a difficult decision of leaving TheFootie during its peak of success. He explained that giving it up was easy when he thought about more important things in life other than the blog.
Just make sure that the “more” important things isn’t holding on to what you want to let go.
6. Self-pity – Do not hold on something in return for sympathy from people. Stand up! Stop going through the motion of self-pity.
7. Scar remains – My friend Rochelle Uyecio once told me — “only time can heal the wounds in our heart, but there is always going to be a scar left in it”. This is a reminder that the past will always be part of you, and letting go doesn’t diminish its value. The past has helped shaped who you are.
8. Another door – When one door closes another door opens, don’t miss the happiness it may bring by staring too long on the closed one.
9. You are not alone – If its any consolation, everyone goes through this ordeal many times over in their lifetime. Believe that things will turn out fine, because they will.
10. Life is too short – Lastly, be happy. Life is too short to dwell so much on things that make us sad.
Letting go is a skill we have to exercise over and over in our lifetime and I hope the tips I have presented would somehow help you realize that there’s more to life than holding on to something you need to let go of.
This post was submitted to the Problogger Series on “How To”. Check out the submissions on Day 1 (here) and 2 (here). The full list can be found here.
[tags]Letting go, Personal Development[/tags]
How to Let Go and Move On
